-And Im Sad. Again-


Today was a sad day, although that is a little ironic. I got a hundred on my math test and I didn’t have french class. I was picked by my coach as the captain of the team, and scored two goals. I let my inner sadness take the best of me, and stopped trying to play well. I used excuses like “I’m really tired” and “here, you got it”. I am not feeling very well. I cried too. I don’t know why I feel this way, it’s probably the move, or just the fact that I will be away from PG for a long time. I don’t know if I can take it. All of it is stressing me out. I have to tell her and I’m basically depressed right now and I need her to be here for me, but she can’t. I keep picturing us crying together and then I get nostalgic, because of the whole CW incident. I heard CW might be coming to SMCA. It’s good for PG, but I would hate to be there at the same time as her. I don’t miss her at all, although that doesn’t make me a good person at all. PG and one of the Isabellas told me I played very well today, but I for one completely disagree. I may have scored twice and been fast, but I would not mark up or set up and take it slowly. I was two concentrated on my other problems to worry about a stupid lacrosse game. We did win, 6-5, though. I wish I could have done better, but I also don’t. I don’t want people to tell me Im amazing and stuff like that. I want to look up to someone in that way, and would rather not be called out when I know the coaches don’t think I played well. It’s hard to here the coaches on the field when you have to worry about what the rest of the people and refs are telling you. CC was asking me to open up and set up the offense, but the ref was telling me to ignore her and just listen to her. Writing my feelings down actually really helped me, so I am glad I started this. I love God. He is asking me to go to S, and that is what I will do. Tomorrow is my BDAY party. Im not really excited about it, and I think it’s just because I am sad. I really hope this pain will go away by tomorrow morning when I wake. Good Night!

-And Im Sad. Again-

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